At work once, our office staff had to engage in a team building
activity that required us to hammer a word of intention onto a metal
ring. I created two that day, but one was filled with mistakes as the
hammer slipped out of my hand when I tried to imprint the letters. I
kept it, however, as a more treasured possession that reflects a beautiful humility inherent in the errors. The message on it was from 1 John 4:16 that says "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them."
I got the second metal ring right and hammered the letters in without incident,
but I cherish the mistake laden one more because it represents me better. The
truth is, I don't always listen to understand or love without judgment. My thoughts, words, and actions aren't always aligned with the God in me, but instead flow from a heart that hasn't been well guarded. Proverbs 4:23 says "above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it," and if I'm being honest, I've not always been the best steward and watchman over my own heart. I've watched things I should have turned off, I've engaged in behaviors I should have stopped, and I've been careless with my words. But I try. Fail. Try again. And the beautiful thing about it all is that God loves me, not because my love for Him and others is perfect, but because it's not. It's an utterly imperfect love, completely dependent upon the God who created me. And that is perfect.
I've been going through various life changes and psychological phenomena lately that completely caught me off guard at the onset around eight months ago, and while I'm still uncertain about the outcome, I keep pressing forward into the unknown (Philippians 3:14). Some days the steps ahead come easily, but other days I feel like I'm climbing the highest heights and left with nothing more than emotional shin splints, headaches, and fatigue. It hasn't been easy navigating the transitions and daily changes to life as I knew it before this year began, but somehow I continue to trust in God's overarching goodness (Romans 8:28). I've asked His Spirit a hundred times what He is doing and why, because while certain dynamics of my situation make complete sense, other aspects defy logic and my own simple understanding. I just don't get it. Today was one of those days. What are you doing God? His gentle answer from John 13:7 bubbled up in my spirit: "you don't understand now what I'm doing, but someday you will." The response was frustratingly void of the details I wanted, yet if that's all He gave me, I knew it was all I needed. Words like "patience" and "trust" and "learn" frequent my mental space these days, and while I love to learn, I'm not so fond of exercising patience and trust. But I try.
Some days unavoidably feel like an uphill battle, but I was reminded by my sweet mom this morning that the challenges I currently face are a beautiful tool in the hand of God to shape me, mold me, and cultivate the God in me. I've never given of myself so sacrificially the way I have this year, and if I'm honest, it doesn't come easily for me. Lately, I've just felt tired from it all, but I'm reminded in Luke 17:33 that "whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." What if the areas of our lives where we give ourselves away to the betterment of others is what Jesus meant when He said we would find our lives only when we lose it for His sake? He is recorded in Matthew 25:40 saying "truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters, you did for Me." Giving to others of your love, time, and energy is not only a gift to the person, but a fragrant aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2 says "walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Love is undeniably sacrificial and if it's not, I would question its authenticity. What it does not look like, however, is perfection. You're allowed to make mistakes while serving and loving others. Someone close to me recently went through some things that have since necessitated my daily presence and care-taking. It's a tough balance trying to navigate his needs, my work demands, long commutes, child rearing, and daily life stressors like paying bills, keeping food on the table, and planning for the future. Self-care? Who has time? And those of us who are natural givers usually feel guilty if we do carve out time for ourselves. It can be exhausting, but here's what I know...
Keep going. I haven't always felt like doing the right thing, and I certainly haven't always felt loving while I serve, despite the command of 1 Corinthians 16:14 that says to "do everything in love." Are you kidding me? Who was this written for? I scoffed as I read it a few days ago. To add even more pressure, Philippians 4:4 says "always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice!" By now, I wanted to throw the whole Book across the room. I didn't feel any of those things in an emotionally negative moment recently, and reading the statements felt like a cruel set up for failure. How could I "do everything in love" and "always be full of joy," when I felt so overwhelmed and tired? I responded by telling a holy God that these were ridiculous commands and I could never measure up. At last I almost heard His spirit say. It was in that moment that I broke through my own mental limitations and cognitive distortions of perfectionism...He already knew that I'll never measure up and it was suddenly okay to acknowledge that I absolutely cannot do those things in my own strength. John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing." I can't do everything in love all the time and I certainly won't always be full of joy, nice though that would be. It's simply not realistic in a sin-stained world. That said, however, what I came to realize through my most recent spiritually charged internal exploration was in Matthew 19:26, which affirms "with men it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.." I really can love others as God loves and so can you. Who are you serving in love today? While it's easier to love those to whom love flows naturally, like kids, spouses, or parents, I challenge you to take it a step further today and love the unlovable, the undeserving, the difficult people in your path. You will never look more like Jesus than when you sacrificially love them (Matthew 16:24). Just as He loved us, undeserving though we are, we must love others whether or not they're easy to love or even deserving. That is perfect love.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." - John 13:34
I've been going through various life changes and psychological phenomena lately that completely caught me off guard at the onset around eight months ago, and while I'm still uncertain about the outcome, I keep pressing forward into the unknown (Philippians 3:14). Some days the steps ahead come easily, but other days I feel like I'm climbing the highest heights and left with nothing more than emotional shin splints, headaches, and fatigue. It hasn't been easy navigating the transitions and daily changes to life as I knew it before this year began, but somehow I continue to trust in God's overarching goodness (Romans 8:28). I've asked His Spirit a hundred times what He is doing and why, because while certain dynamics of my situation make complete sense, other aspects defy logic and my own simple understanding. I just don't get it. Today was one of those days. What are you doing God? His gentle answer from John 13:7 bubbled up in my spirit: "you don't understand now what I'm doing, but someday you will." The response was frustratingly void of the details I wanted, yet if that's all He gave me, I knew it was all I needed. Words like "patience" and "trust" and "learn" frequent my mental space these days, and while I love to learn, I'm not so fond of exercising patience and trust. But I try.
Some days unavoidably feel like an uphill battle, but I was reminded by my sweet mom this morning that the challenges I currently face are a beautiful tool in the hand of God to shape me, mold me, and cultivate the God in me. I've never given of myself so sacrificially the way I have this year, and if I'm honest, it doesn't come easily for me. Lately, I've just felt tired from it all, but I'm reminded in Luke 17:33 that "whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." What if the areas of our lives where we give ourselves away to the betterment of others is what Jesus meant when He said we would find our lives only when we lose it for His sake? He is recorded in Matthew 25:40 saying "truly I tell you, whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters, you did for Me." Giving to others of your love, time, and energy is not only a gift to the person, but a fragrant aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2 says "walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Love is undeniably sacrificial and if it's not, I would question its authenticity. What it does not look like, however, is perfection. You're allowed to make mistakes while serving and loving others. Someone close to me recently went through some things that have since necessitated my daily presence and care-taking. It's a tough balance trying to navigate his needs, my work demands, long commutes, child rearing, and daily life stressors like paying bills, keeping food on the table, and planning for the future. Self-care? Who has time? And those of us who are natural givers usually feel guilty if we do carve out time for ourselves. It can be exhausting, but here's what I know...
Keep going. I haven't always felt like doing the right thing, and I certainly haven't always felt loving while I serve, despite the command of 1 Corinthians 16:14 that says to "do everything in love." Are you kidding me? Who was this written for? I scoffed as I read it a few days ago. To add even more pressure, Philippians 4:4 says "always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice!" By now, I wanted to throw the whole Book across the room. I didn't feel any of those things in an emotionally negative moment recently, and reading the statements felt like a cruel set up for failure. How could I "do everything in love" and "always be full of joy," when I felt so overwhelmed and tired? I responded by telling a holy God that these were ridiculous commands and I could never measure up. At last I almost heard His spirit say. It was in that moment that I broke through my own mental limitations and cognitive distortions of perfectionism...He already knew that I'll never measure up and it was suddenly okay to acknowledge that I absolutely cannot do those things in my own strength. John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing." I can't do everything in love all the time and I certainly won't always be full of joy, nice though that would be. It's simply not realistic in a sin-stained world. That said, however, what I came to realize through my most recent spiritually charged internal exploration was in Matthew 19:26, which affirms "with men it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.." I really can love others as God loves and so can you. Who are you serving in love today? While it's easier to love those to whom love flows naturally, like kids, spouses, or parents, I challenge you to take it a step further today and love the unlovable, the undeserving, the difficult people in your path. You will never look more like Jesus than when you sacrificially love them (Matthew 16:24). Just as He loved us, undeserving though we are, we must love others whether or not they're easy to love or even deserving. That is perfect love.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." - John 13:34
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