As the year comes to a close, I find myself contemplating what has been, what is, and what will be - reflections common for many of us as a new year approaches. 2020, especially, has been a trying year for individuals all over the world, and my hope is that by coming together as a community to share stories, we can also join hearts in prayer and encouragement. For me personally, it has been a year of tremendous sacrifice and holy pursuit of the Cross of Christ. I didn't realize just how profoundly the larger life oblations had affected me until my husband of just six months asked me to lay down something much smaller. As our identities merged following marriage (Mark 10:8), my impulse to retain my individuality kicked in to high gear. I nearly burst into tears at the thought of letting one more piece of myself go to the black abyss of who and what I once was. What he asked me to let go of would, ordinarily, be a simple release, and even an exciting one, but because I already felt my identity of the last decade slipping away, I clung with dear life to one of the only few remaining things that made me me. He got it. He understood the tears, the fears, and the reluctance to surrender. I found myself taking deep, intentional breaths as I prayed through the experiential phenomena of an identity undone.
