A month ago I moved to the Hawaiian islands, and not only did I have a turbulent landing, but I've also been swimming in spiritually rough waters every day since my arrival. I could list my woes one by one (and some days I do), but I've made a decision to fight for gratitude instead. Most people quickly assume that living on Maui, where I moved, must be paradise, but the difficulty of the transition has made for some incredibly challenging days. The breathtaking views are undeniable, but things are far from perfect on my new tropical home. That said, I press on and muster the determination to see my life and surroundings through the lens of Psalm 34:8 that says "taste and see that the Lord is good." My life here has been about more than just soaking in the beauty of the island though. I can both taste and see His goodness without effort, but He's interested in far more than fixing my eyes on the lush scenery. There are deeper, more educational undercurrents on the move and His goal is my surrender. Our yielding to His Spirit is rarely a once in a lifetime event; it's a daily endeavor, and more often than not, the process is painful (Galatians 5:17). On one of my more difficult days recently, I came across an email that I wrote to someone else a couple of months ago. She was having a hard time and I prayed for the Lord to give me words that would soothe her hurting heart. It turns out the words He penned through my hand weren't only for her, but also for me. If you're reading this and going through a difficult time, the words are for you as well. Be blessed as you endure your test (James 1:2-4)!
He will NOT fail you, my sweet sister. You are navigating the difficult and sometimes bitter waters of "hope deferred," (Proverbs 13:12), but deferment is not denial. It is simply a delay that will test you and try to break you, but the true believer's hope can never be broken because it's in Him and not the self. Remember the true object of your hope and ask yourself - will I still love Jesus if He does not give me what I want? Of course you will, because your heart is His and sealed with Him forever in eternity, but He may ask you a hundred times to lay down your heart's greatest desires as a sacrifice pleasing to Him....not to hurt you, but to bring you forth as the golden daughter He already knows you are. He asked Abraham to offer his beloved son. He already knew the outcome - an inheritance of offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. But first, the test.
I offered my heart's greatest desires of a baby onto the alter of praise before Him for a decade before He delivered true to what I believed He had promised. It hurt. The waiting, the relentless waves of doubt and frustration beat against the shores of my mind. The resentment and anger. The sadness and despair. The pain was mine alone to experience and no one looking in had any idea of the depths of my anguish. I had to answer to Him time and again - yes, Lord, I will love you even if I never feel the breath of another newborn baby. I will praise you for what you withhold. I will thank you for answering my prayers with a no if that's your will. He drew me and drew me until I loved Him so much more than the dream in my heart. It took a pruning that brought deep pain, but the joy that comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5) after the trial, after the test, really is worth the wait. I look into my daughter's eyes. The daughter of promise, the long-sought after object of my hope. But first, the test..
He asked Peter three times, "Peter, do you love me?" (John 21). Why would he do this? He already knew the depths of Peter's love for him, and He knows yours. You are in that place. He has shown you the desires of your own heart, and now, like Abraham, He will lead you through the refining fires of purity and dedication to ensure that you love Him more. Our dreams are a beautiful, but dangerous thing and He must establish Himself as Lord of Lord and King of Kings. You're passing, you're passing, you're passing and I'm so proud of you for your devotion to the pursuit. Don't give up. Philippians 3:14 says "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus," and in the original Greek text, the word "press" denotes struggle. Pressing in against resistance. Pursuing as in a chase. To put to flight, as in against the wind. The implication is one of difficulty. Persistence, perseverance. Pressing in until you have what you desire. If you haven't yet reached your goal, your pressing isn't complete. Do not stop short. You can do this, you can have all that you long for. He will NOT fail you. But fist, the test...
He will NOT fail you, my sweet sister. You are navigating the difficult and sometimes bitter waters of "hope deferred," (Proverbs 13:12), but deferment is not denial. It is simply a delay that will test you and try to break you, but the true believer's hope can never be broken because it's in Him and not the self. Remember the true object of your hope and ask yourself - will I still love Jesus if He does not give me what I want? Of course you will, because your heart is His and sealed with Him forever in eternity, but He may ask you a hundred times to lay down your heart's greatest desires as a sacrifice pleasing to Him....not to hurt you, but to bring you forth as the golden daughter He already knows you are. He asked Abraham to offer his beloved son. He already knew the outcome - an inheritance of offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. But first, the test.
I offered my heart's greatest desires of a baby onto the alter of praise before Him for a decade before He delivered true to what I believed He had promised. It hurt. The waiting, the relentless waves of doubt and frustration beat against the shores of my mind. The resentment and anger. The sadness and despair. The pain was mine alone to experience and no one looking in had any idea of the depths of my anguish. I had to answer to Him time and again - yes, Lord, I will love you even if I never feel the breath of another newborn baby. I will praise you for what you withhold. I will thank you for answering my prayers with a no if that's your will. He drew me and drew me until I loved Him so much more than the dream in my heart. It took a pruning that brought deep pain, but the joy that comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5) after the trial, after the test, really is worth the wait. I look into my daughter's eyes. The daughter of promise, the long-sought after object of my hope. But first, the test..
He asked Peter three times, "Peter, do you love me?" (John 21). Why would he do this? He already knew the depths of Peter's love for him, and He knows yours. You are in that place. He has shown you the desires of your own heart, and now, like Abraham, He will lead you through the refining fires of purity and dedication to ensure that you love Him more. Our dreams are a beautiful, but dangerous thing and He must establish Himself as Lord of Lord and King of Kings. You're passing, you're passing, you're passing and I'm so proud of you for your devotion to the pursuit. Don't give up. Philippians 3:14 says "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you heavenward in Christ Jesus," and in the original Greek text, the word "press" denotes struggle. Pressing in against resistance. Pursuing as in a chase. To put to flight, as in against the wind. The implication is one of difficulty. Persistence, perseverance. Pressing in until you have what you desire. If you haven't yet reached your goal, your pressing isn't complete. Do not stop short. You can do this, you can have all that you long for. He will NOT fail you. But fist, the test...
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